'I don't want to be online against my will': 27-year-old influencer "Lina" agrees not to film sister-in-law on her birthday, pulls out her camera anyway and is chastised for crossing her boundaries around internet privacy

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Everyone has a different and unique relationship to their birthday, but there is an unspoken hope that, whether you go all out with a giant party or just make dinner with a couple of friends, the time will revolve a little bit more around you and your preferences for once. I remember that for one of my birthdays back in college, one of my friends kept insisting in the group chat that we celebrate at a steak house. I am a vegetarian. The only thing there for me to eat were some of the sides, and even those were questionable! It felt like she just wanted to co-opt my birthday as an excuse to eat at her favorite joint.

Below, you'll find a story that illustrates a different kind birthday takeover. When a budding influencer, Lina, is invited to her sister-in-law's birthday party, she vows not to use the event to create content for her socials. And yet, her phone was already up and recording right after dinner. When the cake arrived, Lina pointed the camera right at the birthday girl's face, causing her to put her hands over the lens to protect her privacy.

Not only did this lead to Lina claiming she'd been "humiliated," but it led to an interesting internet discussion over a common, modern boundary issue: your right to control your own image versus someone else's desire to capture content. In my opinion, the former always supercedes the latter. It can definitely be hard, especially with friends and family, to assert your boundaries, but it is important to do so now more than ever when it comes to our privacy!

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  • 01

    AITA for putting my hand over my SIL's camera at my own birthday dinner after I told her no filming?

    Woman takes picture of group in front of birthday decorations
    via Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (29F) had a small bd dinner last weekend with my husband (31M), SIL "Lina" (27F), MIL and
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 03
    two friends at a normal but nice place. Lina's an 'influencer". She films literally everything - plates, forks, ppl breathing.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 04
    Three days before, I wrote in the family chat - please don't film me. Food, room is fine, just not my face. She said "got u".
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 05
    Influencer woman recording a video with her phone on a tripod
    via dragana991 from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    We sit down and within like 10 mins her phone is up. I say quiet, "pls don't point it at me." She goes, "you look great, it's just
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 07
    vibes." Husband backs me, "she said no." Lina rolls her eyes, lowers it... for maybe 2 minutes.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 08
    Then the cake comes (little sparkler, staff singing). Lina stands and points the camera
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 09
    right in my face like, "birthday girl reveal!" I put my hand over the lens and said, "stop" I didn't grab the phone or touch her, just covered the camera for a second.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 10
    She snaps that I "ruined her shot" and this is her job. MIL says to "let it go for one night." I said that - it's my night actually.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 11
    A birthday cake with sparklers
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    It got awkward fast. Server was right there, I felt embarassed. Husband tried to change the subject, but Lina kept muttering
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 13
    about how she had to scrap "everything." I even paid for my own dessert (long story) and we left pretty quick.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 14
    Next morning Lina texts that I "humiliated" her and made her look unprofessional in front of
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 15
    everyone. MIL says I should've moved seats if I didn't want to be in frame. Husband says my
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 16
    boundary is fair but maybe I "made a scene" by doing it during the song when eyes were already on me.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924

  • It's good that she feels humiliated? I mean, how else will she learn to stop crossing people's boundaries?

  • 17
    She's posted me before without asking and co-workers mentioned it. I've asked her to
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 18
    blur/remove and it turns into drama, which is why I set the boundary in writing before dinner.
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 19
    Why I might be the AH: public place, I did physically block her shot, and yeah it was during the song. I could've stood up and
    via u/ClassicEarth7924
  • 20
    turned away or smth. But also... I don't wanna be online against my will, esp on my own birthday. Idk. AITA?
    via u/ClassicEarth7924

  • No one's boundaries around privacy should ever be crossed, but if there's literally any day to just agree to not take out your phone, it's on their birthday.

  • 21
    k23_k23 NTA stop inviting her. And tell everybody: If she disrespects your boundary about being filmed, you will stop coming.
    via u/k23_k23
  • 22
    and; in the future, when she films you without permission and posts it, report her. Get it taken down. get her account closed.
    via u/k23_k23
  • 23
    1234-for-me Exactly! Why invite her? You know how shes is, quit being TA to yourself.
    via u/1234-for-me
  • 24
    Ok_Tonight_3703 Bahahaha! Her JOB? Every idiot with a phone thinks they are an influencer. She does not have the right to use people without their permission as content.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 25
    Your husband was wrong. You didn't make a scene. She did with her disrespect. You held your boundary and now she's bat hurt.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 26
    Three women taking a selfie
    via Jacob Lund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 27
    Frankly I would not share the same space with her. Seriously I would not attend any event that she was parents at and she would not be invited to any event hosted by me or for me.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 28
    I would also report any post that showed my face every single time. I would also comment on her posts calling her out. Your husband owes you an apology.
    via u/Ok_Tonight_3703
  • 29
    oliviamrow NTA. If she wants to look professional in public, she should act like a professional in public. A
    via u/oliviamrow
  • 30
    professional respects other people, their space, and their privacy. A professional knows how to separate their job and
    via u/oliviamrow
  • 31
    their personal life when needed. A professional isn't so desperate for content that she'll railroad other peoples' comfort and wishes. Is she really 27 or is she 17?
    via u/oliviamrow
  • 32
    You are not part of her job. She doesn't get to commandeer you as a prop for her videos, and she doesn't get to seize control over your own g d in birthday event for it either.
    via u/oliviamrow
  • 33
    Juilek • 14h Turning another person's birthday into your content against their wishes is nuts. She wasn't there in a professional capacity to begin with, it wasn't her job to film OP.
    via u/Juilek

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relationship advice family drama marriage birthday wife family feud married life relationships influencer husband couples family Reddit entitled people
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